Bear

quoteLSo a hunter is out one day deer hunting when all of a sudden he feels a tap on his shoulder. To his surprise the hunter turns around to find a bear standing on two legs; then the bear swats away the hunter's gun and continues to say "Alright I will give you two choices, either let me rape you, or I will maul you right here" so the hunter, not having much of a choice, lets the bear rape him. When the bear is finished, the hunter goes home in deep shame and anger. The next day the hunter is very angry and decides to hunt down and kill the bear that raped him; so he grabs another one of his guns and takes off. He's out in the woods again looking for the bear then feels a tap on his shoulder. The hunter turns around to find the bear, again. The bear swats away his gun and says "You know the drill, let me rape you, or maul you!" The hunter infuriated bends over to let the bear rape him. Then again when the bear was finished the hunter goes home. The next day the hunter is enraged and is determined to find and kill the bear; so he grabs yet another one of his guns and heads out. The hunter is in the woods, feels another tap on his shoulder to see the bear. The bear swats away his gun and says "You don't come here for the hunting do you?!" quoteH

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The sentence game=no penis

The sentence game=no penis

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The Navy?

The Navy?

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God's Lights

quoteLSo a preacher and a man(named Jim) are having a conversation and Jim is speaking to the preacher "Preacher!God does wonderful things for me; every night when I walk in the bathroom at night God just turns the lights on for me" the preacher replies "Wow that's a miracle!" then Jim continues "I'm telling you there's something special about me that God would do that, just for me!" Then Jim's wife walks up "Hey what are y'all talking about?" the preacher says "Your husband has just been telling me that every time he goes to open his bathroom door at night, God turns the lights on for him!" Then Jim's wife gives him an ugly look " You've been pissing in the refrigerator again haven't you!?!?"quoteH

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Bus full of ugly people

quoteLThere was once this bus full of ugly people. Don't ask me why but there were a bunch of ugly on a bus. So somehow the bus driver screws up and gets into a terrible accident; everyone dies and goes in front of the pearly gates to Heaven. So they're all up there and God feeling sorry for the terrible way they died said,"Everyone line up! I'm giving you each but one wish before you go through the pearly gates to Heaven!" And so they're all lined up and the first person goes; being a lady she says"I want to be beautiful!" Everyone behind her is thinking the same thing of course. Everything's going along fine until God finally noticed one man at the back of the line laughing. So God's just sitting there thinking "Wonder what he's laughing about" and the line goes on; everyone wanting the same thing, to be either handsome or beautiful. Then God notices that man has been laughing even harder than before and a lot of angels around him are laughing as well. Then God thinks " What in the heck is that guy laughing at? Oh well I'll ask when I get to him." Then when the line finally gets to the last man God says "What is your wish my son?" To the man's reply " Make 'em all ugly again!"quoteH

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Quit stealing memes

Quit stealing memes

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Sarcasm

Sarcasm

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Sarcasm

Sarcasm

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Boners

quoteLBONERS! You know you just laughed.quoteH

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JFK

JFK

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